


A Failed Moirail

by KnavidDave



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-16
Updated: 2011-10-16
Packaged: 2017-10-24 16:26:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnavidDave/pseuds/KnavidDave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay, so I've been dying to write something for Nepeta and Equius for the longest time and now I've finally gotten to it! (/ouo)/</p><p>No, this is not where I plan to end it. I actually plan to make this more than one chapter. The next chapter will be from Nepeta's point of view.</p><p>I do not own Nepeta Leijon, Equius Zahhak, any other trolls mentioned, or anything in homestuck. They belong to Andrew Hussie.</p></blockquote>





	A Failed Moirail

You could never touch her. Or anyone else really, but she was most important. She who could calm you, she who would not tell you how disgusting the frequent sweating was, she who allowed you to see that the world didn't have to be black and white- it could be many shades of grey. She took your rules and tossed them, showing you it was okay to step outside them once in a while. She taught you that smiling is possible. That it can be worth it to talk to the lower bloods- even if you debated it with her. She was your one and only moirail, and you are afraid you will never see her again.

Unlike her, you couldn't teach anything. You were not emotionally helpful, you couldn't get her to take your rules and realize them as truth, and you couldn't teach her to be strong- she already was. You could only offer her a roleplaying partner when there were no others- a last resort of sorts. You tried to guide her, to lead her away from the filthy beast that hid his blood behind dust-coloured text...but you couldn't bring her away from the mutant. You couldn't even save her, too bent in your ways to kill someone who had higher blood than you. Even if it was the only way to save the rest of the trolls...The only way to save her. Instead, you sent her away and probably made her feel useless. You know you have failed her. You had never and will never be the perfect moirail. You will never teach her, you will never touch her. You will never see her again, and it is all your fault.

You know you are dead. You have a clear memory of Gamzee choking you with your own bowstring. You were smiling, just at the thought of getting attention from the higher blood. You are so deranged. If you had just fought back you could have saved them all. Now you don't know how many are alive or how many the subjuggulator has reached. If you're lucky, he hasn't gotten her yet. You don't want her to be dead. You especially don't want her to be in a dream bubble, eyes no longer holding colour like yours. You never wanted her to be subjected to Gamzee's wrath. Laughing with no mirth at yourself, you sit down on the robot parts.

You know that you will start seeing other dead trolls soon, but you don't want to see any of them. You don't want to hear the blame in their voice, feel the hatred in their words, the anger in their nonexistant eyes. You could have saved them all. You didn't. You doomed them. Luckily, the only one who has come past here left immediately. You never got to see them, but you could feel when your bubble conjoined with someone else's. You will never know who it was because you didn't bother to look out your window. You didn't think that it may possibly be anyone who would want to see you. You aren't so stupid as to think anyone would ever want to see you, honestly. You knew that before you died. You knew that you were an outcast in your little group and the only one who kept you connected to any of them was her. Even your flushcrush didn't have as much control over your life as she did.

In fact, you know so well that you're an outcast that your dream hive doesn't even have a door. After all, who would want to come in or out? Who would want to come see sweaty, blood-obsessed, fetish-filled, STRONG Equius? No one wants to see you, as far as you see it. Obviously, you don't want to see them either. If you paid attention and looked outside this jail cell you have created for yourself, you might have seen who else has died so far. You might have seen that your Empress is dead. You might have seen that Sollux paid a visit to the dream bubbles, but left soon after. You might have seen Eridan. Worst of all, if you had paid attention to the outside world...You would have known that it was Nepeta's bubble that crossed with yours and that she left because she didn't know how to face you.

Your name is Equius Zahhak, and you are the worst dead moirail.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I've been dying to write something for Nepeta and Equius for the longest time and now I've finally gotten to it! (/ouo)/
> 
> No, this is not where I plan to end it. I actually plan to make this more than one chapter. The next chapter will be from Nepeta's point of view.
> 
> I do not own Nepeta Leijon, Equius Zahhak, any other trolls mentioned, or anything in homestuck. They belong to Andrew Hussie.


End file.
